What Curly Hair Has Taught Me

I was born with curly hair.

A lot of people would say curly hair is a blessing, but for a long time it felt like a curse to me. I struggled with insecurity anyway, and it didn't help that my hair was often a frizzy mess.  I have had all of the clichéd exchanges you can imagine, from old women telling me that they would pay money to have my curls to a young woman telling me she would “cut off both her arms to have crazy curly hair” like me. Ah, thanks. I think.
 

Photo Credit

Through the years, I've finally come to terms with my curly hair, and learned a few life lessons along the way.

Go with the flow.
No matter what I do with my hair, it does its own thing. Thankfully, when I was sixteen I learned the cardinal curly hair rule: DO NOT BRUSH YOUR HAIR. This has made a world of difference, but my hair is still wild. After years of fighting the curl, I've come to realize that I can either fight and be disgusted with its wildness or I can take care of my hair and accept that it is not going to be perfect. Ever. This is something my dad calls "being flexible." He likes to remind those around him, "Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape." I can do my best to make good decisions in life, but I am not in control, so I have to roll with the punches. Just like curly hair isn't perfect, neither is life.

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There is no comparison.
I'm ecstatic to be teaching Sunday School again, and yesterday's lesson was on not comparing yourself to others. WHAT?! I'm teaching the very lesson that my own heart needs to hear. So what if my friends' hairs seem to fall smoothly just the way they want them? My hair was created to be curly. In the same way, my life is not going to go as smoothly as the lives of others appear to be going. (Note that I didn't say "as smoothly as the lives of others" because most of the time, the lives that I think are going smoothly are really just as rippled as mine!)

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Take responsibility and let it go.
My mom didn't have curly hair, so she taught me to brush my hair the way she brushed hers. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I finally took responsibility for learning how to take care of MY hair - and figuring out that what works for some people doesn't work for me! How often do we try to emulate others to the detriment of our sanity? I have to remind myself to do what works for me - to take responsibility for myself - and not worry about the rest. After all, if I'm making the best decision possible with the resources available to me, I can have no regrets.

Sometimes, I use a straightening iron and make my curls smooth and straight. It doesn't last, though. Underneath, I'm still a curly-haired girl, and I always will be. And I'm fine with that.

What about you? What have you learned from your unchangeable physical characteristics?

Verse Four

I read Psalm 71 this week and found several jewels - or tools for my arsenal, if you will! I selected this one because of its pertinence to where I am right now. Sometimes, the cares of life weigh down my spirit and this verse reminds me to choose hope continually, and to praise Him more each day. What is your new verse for My Sword 2014?

Love Letter

I love you.

It is because of Me that you are.

My love for you is greater than comprehension.

I give all good things to you.

I forgive every time you offend Me.

No matter what you do, how you fail, how you disappoint or anger Me,

I will go on loving you.

My death gives you the chance to love Me.

There is no greater love than My love for you.

In honor of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd post this little love letter. I wrote it eleven years ago for a Valentine's Day writing competition at my college. I can't remember if the competition was to write the best love letter or the best Valentine's Day poem, but whatever it was, I won. (The prize was a stuffed animal of my choice from the campus store! Ha!) I'm sure I won because I focused on the Greatest Love Story instead of all the mushy-gushy stuff, NOT because the writing was stellar. I know some people call Valentine's Day "Singleness Awareness Day." I'm posting this as a reminder that you are loved with the deepest love, no matter your relationship status! 

Determined

I made this card and thought it made a fitting "happy Thursday" post! Forgive the homemade-ness of the card and photography! I'm no photographer… all my blog pics are from my phone since I don't have a "real" camera.

Endurance

On Feeling Alone

This post is me keepin' it real.

Throughout my life, when heartbreak has occurred, I have felt alone. When I was in college, I wrote a poem about this (the poem was probably no good, and it has not survived the years, but I remember writing it and I remember my poetry classmates critiquing it). Every time I hurt, I struggle with feeling as if I am the only person on the planet - and maybe in all of history - who has felt this way. These feelings of isolation are a hurt in and of themselves, and exacerbate the other pain exponentially if I allow them to do so.

I have come to the realization that these feelings of isolation are something that has to be fought. I feel alone. Am I really? I feel as if I am the only one to ever suffer this pain. Am I really? So often, my heart doesn't follow the logic of my head. That is not to say that my feelings are not valid. On the contrary, my feelings are important pieces of the puzzle. Our perception of reality isn't necessarily true, but it does influence our reactions.

In the end, though, truth will win. We see this played out time after time in history and in our own lives.  If I claim to believe the truth; if I claim to be a Christian, then what must I do with feelings of isolation?

Satan wants nothing more than to cripple the saints. He knows that he will lose in the end, but he is determined to bring as many down with him as possible. He loves nothing more than to trap the Beloved with lies - not because he can snatch us from God, but because he does not want us to live victoriously as God has intended. When I feel isolated, it helps me to remember that I am most decidedly NOT alone, and to wallow in this pit is to call God a liar.

Say WHAT?

Oh, yes. God has promised that he will never leave us nor forsake us. He has promised that He holds us in His hands. He has promised us the Holy Spirit will dwell within us. If I say, "Woe is me, I am alone," God could just as easily say, "Child, I am right here! Stop denying me!"

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The true question is, do I believe Him? Do I believe His promise not to leave me alone? Only then can I finally get to the heart of the matter, and that is trusting God to do what He says He will do.

My friends, I am fighting this battle more often than I would like. Maybe you are, too. Hold on! Just hold on. We are never, never alone!

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Verse Three

More than anything, I hope that I am one who speaks the good word that makes glad the hearts of those around me. Someday, I hope it can be said of me, "And they glorified God because of me." (Gal. 1:24)

What about you? Feel free to enter your memory verse in the comments below!