Saturday, August 6, 2011


I am going to be just a little bit confessional here, so pretend like we're sitting at Starbucks.  I'm drinking a grande nonfat caramel macchiato, just so you know. Unless it's between September and December--- then I'm drinking a Pumpkin Spice Latte and my eyes are closed in delirious happiness.  But I digress... this isn't a blog post about lattes.

I have been teaching a Sunday School class at my church... it's for single ladies, and the topic is Insecurity.  Long story short, this journey began months ago with God laying the desire on my heart to teach a Sunday School class.  The subject matter must have come from Him, too, because it has been just what I needed.  I don't know that the class has been earth-shattering for anyone... except for me.  I think He called me to teach this class so I would absorb it for myself.  God is working in my heart and in my relationships (especially my marriage) through this class.  I will just leave it at that.

Recently, my husband and I had a conversation at home.  This is one of those random, unimportant conversations that happen multiple times a day.  Our son needed his nose wiped, and Hubs picked up the [dirty/used] dish cloth from the sink and bent over to wipe his nose.

"You're not going to use that and then put it back in the sink to wash dishes with, are you?" I asked, horrified.  My overactive imagination envisioned the bacteria swarming through the rag and onto the clean dishes, and from there into our food... and our mouths.  Essentially, to me, we'd be eating the snot.

"Really?" he exclaimed, slightly annoyed. "I would never even think of such a thing.  I think you're the only person on the planet who would ever think of such a thing."  Despite being annoyed, he got a different wash cloth out, ran warm water over it, and wiped the Little One's nose.  Then he threw the cloth into the dirty laundry basket.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  To him, the conversation was over, but his comment rankled in my heart.  So, I did what any self-respecting woman would do... I sought affirmation from my facebook friends!!!

To my delight, I am NOT the only person on the planet that would "think of such a thing."  (To his credit, there are a few who were in agreement with him.)  However, this got me thinking.  WHY did I post that on facebook?  It wasn't to make him look bad.  No, that wasn't my motivation.  It wasn't to make myself look good, either.  It was because my feelings were hurt when he said I was the only one on the planet who would think of such a thing, and I didn't want to be alone!!!  I wanted my opinion, my feelings, to be validated by someone!

Now, it was not his motivation to hurt my feelings (and why my feelings are so easily hurt is another matter entirely), we didn't have a "fight" over it, and neither of us were/are upset. (He knows about the facebook posting, in case you were wondering.)  It really wasn't a big deal; as I said before, it was a simple, random, daily conversation that just so happened to impact my day in a certain way. 

There isn't much of a point to this post, as far as a moral to the story. I don't mean to say that I'm right or I'm wrong, but it is an interesting conundrum; why do I (and probably "we" as human beings) want validation so much?  It doesn't seem wrong to want validation.  I guess it's a question for the cosmic void!

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