Monday, February 3, 2014

On Feeling Alone

This post is me keepin' it real.

Throughout my life, when heartbreak has occurred, I have felt alone. When I was in college, I wrote a poem about this (the poem was probably no good, and it has not survived the years, but I remember writing it and I remember my poetry classmates critiquing it). Every time I hurt, I struggle with feeling as if I am the only person on the planet - and maybe in all of history - who has felt this way. These feelings of isolation are a hurt in and of themselves, and exacerbate the other pain exponentially if I allow them to do so.

I have come to the realization that these feelings of isolation are something that has to be fought. I feel alone. Am I really? I feel as if I am the only one to ever suffer this pain. Am I really? So often, my heart doesn't follow the logic of my head. That is not to say that my feelings are not valid. On the contrary, my feelings are important pieces of the puzzle. Our perception of reality isn't necessarily true, but it does influence our reactions.

In the end, though, truth will win. We see this played out time after time in history and in our own lives.  If I claim to believe the truth; if I claim to be a Christian, then what must I do with feelings of isolation?

Satan wants nothing more than to cripple the saints. He knows that he will lose in the end, but he is determined to bring as many down with him as possible. He loves nothing more than to trap the Beloved with lies - not because he can snatch us from God, but because he does not want us to live victoriously as God has intended. When I feel isolated, it helps me to remember that I am most decidedly NOT alone, and to wallow in this pit is to call God a liar.


Oh, yes. God has promised that he will never leave us nor forsake us. He has promised that He holds us in His hands. He has promised us the Holy Spirit will dwell within us. If I say, "Woe is me, I am alone," God could just as easily say, "Child, I am right here! Stop denying me!"


The true question is, do I believe Him? Do I believe His promise not to leave me alone? Only then can I finally get to the heart of the matter, and that is trusting God to do what He says He will do.

My friends, I am fighting this battle more often than I would like. Maybe you are, too. Hold on! Just hold on. We are never, never alone!


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